Why Language Matters
What’s in a word? You might have noticed on our Instagram account that we have a series called “What’s the Word,” where we explore terms related to diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI). We created this series as a response to needs we heard in the community: people wanted to learn more about inclusive language, and at the same time they felt overwhelmed about where to start. Project Deviate believes that language is deeply interwoven in DEI work, though how we choose to focus on language can impact our ability to be vulnerable, stay curious, and deviate from harmful norms.
The pitfalls of perfectibility language
On one level, DEI work is sometimes made out to be exclusively about learning the “correct” language - an obsession with saying the “right” thing, or at least never being caught saying the “wrong” thing. Reflect on your own experiences here: when has a fear of saying the wrong thing prevented you from engaging in meaningful conversation about diversity, identity, and belonging?
This fear, based on what's “right” and “wrong,” can be pervasive in DEI. Some detractors of DEI work characterize it as little more than political correctness or language policing that seeks to determine what people can and cannot say. While arguably aiming for laudable goals of respect and honoring identity markers, political correctness can often emphasize perfecting how we present ourselves based on the language we use, without getting into the messy reality of what we actually think and feel. At worst, political correctness can encourage crafting a kind of surface-level veneer of words that actually prevents us from meaningfully engaging in DEI.
The truth is, language and the meanings we attach to words are ever-evolving and never finished. If we’ve “settled” on one right definition, especially for a word that attempts to address complex ideas like identity and oppression, our attempt to stick that meaning in amber really only means we’re getting stuck ourselves. This is why it can be dangerous to understand DEI language from a perspective of “mastery,” and as a way of protecting ourselves from accidentally saying the wrong thing. Indeed, truly engaging in DEI work means it’s not a question of whether we’ll say the wrong thing, but when we’ll say it, and how we choose to encounter that situation when it arises.
Getting curious about language as the building blocks of our social worlds
Instead, learning DEI language requires an orientation towards perpetual curiosity and openness to change. A heavy dose of humility and vulnerability go hand-in-hand with this new orientation, because we can finally give up the notion that we will ever know the correct and right things to say at all times. This curiosity acknowledges that language is important, but in a far different way than projecting a perfected self: language shapes our reality, language opens and closes possibilities for identifying, showing up in the world, and relating to one another. Language also doesn’t exist in a vacuum; it’s situated in historical and societal contexts that have impacted and continue to impact life chances and opportunities for people.
To show you what I mean, take the example of Jacob Tobia and how they talk about language in their memoir Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story. Jacob talks about their process of claiming language that matched with their genderqueer identity, including using the pronouns they/them/theirs: “...while I knew on some level that these were just words, that these shifts were only semantic - imperfect approximations of far more complicated ideas - they were finally my words. They were words of my own choosing, begetting possibilities of my own imagining” (p. 246). For Jacob, language gave them the ability to claim a more expansive reality, one that better aligned with their gender identity.
Recognizing the power that language has to shape our realities pushes us to use language responsibly and intentionally. Just as language can open up new possible futures, it can also be a means of enforcing harmful norms that force people into boxes. Rather than striving for a perfected language, what would it look like to strive for intentional language that acknowledges that our words have power?
Towards spaciousness in language
Let’s start by rephrasing a question that relates back to the notion of “perfecting” DEI language. From that orientation, we might ask, “what is the right thing to say/word to use in this situation?” But this question assumes that it’s possible to know how every person identifies and characterizes their experiences, and we’re still clinging onto a desire to slot people in boxes. An orientation of curiosity recognizes that we can’t know how people identify until they show us themselves. Given this, what would it mean to cultivate a kind of spaciousness in our language that gave people the room they needed to show up as their authentic selves?
I’m talking about reframing language around an ethic of care, instead of the kind of obligatory veneer of respectability that we talked about earlier. Language that opens doors to possibility, rather than fixing meanings with definitions that can never change and evolve. It’s in this spirit that we created our “What’s the Word” series, to contribute to a shared journey of getting curious about a language that is both powerful and full of possibility.
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